Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dane JirZone's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
5:06 pm	Pirates vs. Vikings. Ok, so I've had this conversation with about three people in the last day or so, so I'm putting it here. Forget the pirate vs. ninja debate. It's antiquated, and there aren't enough parallels. They work on totally different planes, so a fair comparison is next to impossible. No one remembers vikings, and they are similar to pirates in so many ways that direct comparison is possible. So that's what I'm going to attempt to do. - - First off, vikings were the original badasses. They plied their trade a full 600+ years before pirates even thought about being pirates. So +1 point vikings. Appearance: Let's face it, both pirates and vikings look hard as hell. Vikings, on the one hand, wear animal skins and leather boots and stuff. Their beards are rocking, royally. They are sooo bling bling with all their rings and armlets and other various shiny metal things they have absconded with. They have HORN HELMETS for Christ's sake, and carry around battle axes. So they clearly take this category, right? No. Pirates have the whole "dignified rapscallion" look going on sometimes, and sometimes they wear straight rags. Eye patches rock, as do anchor tattoos. The beards are at LEAST as rocking as vikings. But they are still losing at this point. That is until you remember the hook hands and peg-legs. It's over. +1 point for both pirates and vikings. Spoils of war: Both pirates and vikings spent way too much time thinking about treasure. They both sailed the high seas in search or gold for the hoarding. You may think that vikings take this category easily because: 1) Vikings don't plunder, they pillage and sack. These words are cooler, as are the actual actions. Boarding a merchant ship just isn't as cool as raiding a monestary. 2) As previosly mentioned, vikings melt down their loot and create jewelry to wear INTO BATTLE. Rock solid. But then you realize that #2 is negated because pirates trade their plunder for Rum and prostitutes, which is awesome. Drinking rum in a ship at sea isn't as cool as drinking MEAD in a longhouse, but it's close, so we'll let that slide. At this point vikings are still ahead because they attack monks where they live. That is forgotten, however, as soon as you remember that more often than not, pirates BURY their treasure. So while vikings know what they want and why they want it, pirates just steal for the hell of it. They don't even know what's going on. They stay so drunk that stealing gold doubloons just to bury them makes perfect sense. +1 point pirates. Vikings have mythology and pirates don't. Mythology is wicked sweet. +1 point vikings. Viking women have beards. -1 point vikings. Transportation: Pirate ships are cool, there is no doubt. All the cannons are ferocious, and the huge wheel is comical. Also they fly skull and crossbone flags, and they have a crow's nest and people randomly climbing in the rigging ALL THE TIME. Come on, how badass is that. But vikings have longboats, which travel the same high seas as the pirates except they are much smaller and low to the water. Vikings have madd plums for doing that; they are never scared. They have shields on the side, which is cool for some reason, and they'll drive them anywhere, like up rivers and stuff. So pirates and vikings are pretty much tied at this point. In the end it all comes down to prow adornment. Pirates have women on the front of their ships which is all fine and well. I'm not gonna hate on that. But vikings have DRAGONS, and dragons can steal women with ease and take them back to a cave and put them in a cage of gold. Dragons are > women in that sense. +1 point vikings. Avian allies: Pirates have parrots, which at first may seem cool. But parrots don't shut the hell up, and have a nasty habit of spilling secrets. Also they are all rainbow colored, which is totally not what pirates are about. Parrots constantly want crackers, too. Vikings have ravens, on the other hand, which scout ahead and tell you how scared the monks are of you. Plus they are solid black all over. Hardcore. +1 point vikings. Treasure maps are really awesome, with the "X marks the spot" thing and all, but so are ancestral rune stones. +1 point for both pirates and vikings Fighting style: Vikings fighting style is pretty elite. I mean come on, they have war hammers. You can't hate on that. Plus they kill unarmed peasantry, and everyone gets cloven by battleaxes. "Cloven" is a cool word, especially when coupled with the word "asunder". And they go berserk a lot, which is a bonus. But pirates have daggers. This in itself isn't particularly amazing, but pirates carry them in their mouths, which is neat. "Rapier" is a cool word, which counteracts cloven, and "mutiny" nullifies "asunder". Obviously cannons are a big part of any pirates haphazard arsenal, and cannons are rad-ass. This still isn't as cool as vikings though, until you remember the flintlock single shot pistols. Repeating arms were unknown to pirates, so they simply carried shear numbers of flintlock pistols in their belt. Grab one, fire it, become enveloped in a cloud of gunpowder smoke, drop it to the deck, grab another, repeat. OMG, the awesome. +1 point pirates. Names: This is no contest. Come on, which sounds cooler, "Red Beard" or "Hrothgar Hammerhelm". Damn right. +1 point vikings. Pirates need another point SOLELY for peg-legs and hook-hands. And striped stockings.+1 point pirates. +1 million points for both pirates and vikings for being SO OUTLANDISHLY AWESOME AT ALL TIMES. Ok, so that brings the final tally to: PIRATES: 1,000,005 VIKINGS: 1,000,006 So it's official. While pirates are certainly spectacular at inspiring awe, Vikings are just a little more amazing. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 29th, 2004
12:26 am	Holy Crap. I thought they deleted unused accounts on this. I'm suprised that I even remembered my password. I really don't have anything to say. 8 months with no updates and all I can say is... Napoleon Dynamite is the best movie I have ever seen. See it now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 11th, 2003
1:27 am	Never ever call me original. 1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 2. Am I lovable? 3. How long have you known me? 4. When and how did we first meet? 5. What was your first impression? 6. Do you still think that way about me now? 7. What do you think my weakness is? 8. Do you think I'll get married? 9. What makes me happy? 10.What makes me sad? 11.What reminds you of me? 12.If you could give me anything what would it be? 13.How well do you know me? 14.When's the last time you saw me? 15.Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 16.Do you think I could kill someone? 17.Describe me in one word. 18.Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 19.Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? 20.Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 28th, 2003
12:49 pm	So, I'm bored! name= Dane piercings= 0 tattoos= 0 height= I think 6'2. Maybe taller now shoe size= Heh. 13. hair color= brown siblings= Two of the worst brothers Satan could deliver. LAST... movie you rented = Anger Management movie you bought = Well I think that was Suicide Kings. But I stole Back to the Future 3 and Resaviour(SP) Dogs from Emily's Brother. Muahahaha. song you listened to = Right Now I'm listening to "Bang Bang" by Dispatch. song that was stuck in your head = "Last Call" by Big Boi and Lil' Jon. "I'm so pimp, it's ridiculous" cd you bought = Outkast "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below." Speakerboxxx is really good. cd you listened to = One I made. person you've called = Kristina, because she thought I messaged her and it turned out to be Derek who did, and then it all went to hell. Then I stabbed her. person that's called you = Kristina. tv show you've watched = Live with Regis and Kelly. I'm not gay, shut up. person you were thinking of = I was just thinking about Jay in NYC partying with Colin. DO... you have a crush on someone = If you could call it even that. you wish you could live somewhere else = Yes. you think about suicide = no you believe in online dating = Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Absolutely not. others find you attractive = I think. A few girls. And Bryce.(Haha) you want more piercings = Are you calling me gay? you like cleaning = Because if you are, that isn't cool man. That guy didn't tell me he was going to video tape anything. you like roller coasters = Hell yeah! you write in cursive or print = Big block letters in all capitals. I write at a third grade level! FOR OR AGAINST... long distance relationships = If you can find a way to make one work, You are a better man than I. using someone = Against. suicide = If you are stupid enough to take your life over a temporary problem, do it. teenage smoking = Doesn't matter to me, but nothing is uglier than a girl smoking. Ok maybe a girl smoking who has one eye. And no legs. driving drunk = Against gay/lesbian relationships = Whatever floats your boat. soap operas = I miss the Midget in passions. I only watched it once, and the midget was in it, and he was doing magic. I like magic! HAVE YOU... ever cried over a girl = Yeah. ever cried over a boy = I wouldnt say I cried over a boy. I would say I cried because of what he did. ever lied to someone = I hate lying. So no. ever been in a fist fight = Yep. I won too. ever been arrested = Nope. WHAT... shampoo do you use = American Crew right now. shoes do you wear = I have a pair of Tims, and a pair of Adidas right now. are you scared of = Not much of anything, really. NUMBER... of times I have been in love? = Once. of times I have had my heart broken? = Once. of hearts I have broken? = Not a one. of girls I have kissed? = 5. of boys I have kissed? = None. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 1 Person. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = I'd say two-three times. of scars on my body? = Now this is my kind of question. How much time you have? haha. I have 12 scars. If you feel bored, Message me and I'll tell you where they are. of things in my past that I regret? = I know of two major things I regret. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... pretty ? Yes. And Witty. And Gay. Oh wait, no. funny ? I've been told I'm one of the funniest people some other people know. hot ? When I wear too many pairs of sweats. And i guess I could be hot, at times. friendly ? Yeah! ugly ? Nobody is hot all the time. Well, almost nobody. loveable? I've been told. caring ? yeah sweet ? Yeah dorky ? Absolutely. Favorite: 5 letter word: First Five letter word that popped into my mind. Porshe. Followed closely by Douche. As in Douche-bag. actor/actress: Edward Norton is the shit. And I like Cheri O'Teri. God she is funny. Candy: Red Licorice. Cartoon: Family Guy and Futurama. And Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And Sealab 2021. And The Brak Show. I watch alot of Cartoons. Cereal: Honey Combs. Mmmmmm. Chewing: Skoal. Just kidding. Color(s): Blue and Gray Least fave day: monday Flower: Pocketful of Posies. Yeah I don't know what posies are. Jello flavor: I hate Jello. Jewelry: My spinning ring. Special skills/talents: I can run fast! And I make people laugh! Summer/Winter: Summer, Winter is cold. || Person who last.. || Slept in your bed: Me. Other than me, somebody with me. Saw you cry: Somebody. Made you cry: That same somebody. You went to the movies with: Kristina and the Couple. (Zack and Danny. Ahahahahahaha. Homos.) || Have you ever.. || Said "I love you" and meant it?: Yes. Went out in public in your pajamas: Last night. Kept a secret from everyone: yep Cried during a movie: No. Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: Not a damn thing Been on stage: Yeah. Advanced Drama Sophmore year! Yay! Giving sermons during youth day at my church! Yay! Been to New York: Yeah. Met Tommy Hilfiger's aunt. In fact, she's related to me! My grandpa's sister! Been to California: All of my dad's family lives there. That had a boring end. Current Mood: bored (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 31st, 2003
9:03 am	Pirate, Motherfucker! My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul DaneJirzone goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Pirate, Motherfucker!. caligirl19 gives you 3 mauve peach-flavoured hard candies. caracoop gives you 13 light orange orange-flavoured wafers. chainsmokingun tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy! chickgirl gives you 14 purple orange-flavoured gumdrops. faceass gives you 5 light orange watermelon-flavoured miniature candy bars. iverson gives you 2 mauve root beer-flavoured gummy fruits. jcamplus tricks you! You get a pencil. krazykristina gives you 5 red-orange vanilla-flavoured gummy worms. thearcticcat tricks you! You get a rock. whitacakes gives you 12 pink root beer-flavoured pieces of chewing gum. DaneJirzone ends up with 53 pieces of candy, a pencil, and a rock. Go trick-or-treating! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 20th, 2003
1:09 am	I so totally won my 4 dollars back and I come from the school of Rock. I will Rock your socks off... CaraCoop: now i will post this on lj CaraCoop: and everyone will hate me T ightlooKnscaR: Why will they hate you? T ightlooKnscaR: We are comedic GOLD. CaraCoop: hahahah! because it will be a long conversation and no one will want to read it CaraCoop: hey, maybe it'll get me some damn comments T ightlooKnscaR: we need more interesting friends CaraCoop: dude, i bet you can meet a lot of interesting people at pcc T ightlooKnscaR: Who have LJ's? T ightlooKnscaR: and like me for me? CaraCoop: lots of people ahve ljs T ightlooKnscaR: not because I have the look of tyson bedford CaraCoop: they are way trendy CaraCoop: oh my god T ightlooKnscaR: and the charm of robert redford, oozing out my ears T ightlooKnscaR: Tell me you know that song CaraCoop: oh of course CaraCoop: how could i not? T ightlooKnscaR: blessed union of souls CaraCoop: no, no, no T ightlooKnscaR: that was a perfect Segue into that CaraCoop: totally not them T ightlooKnscaR: It was them T ightlooKnscaR: you jerk CaraCoop: NO IT WASN"T!!!! CaraCoop: i'll prove it to you CaraCoop: oooh, wana bet? T ightlooKnscaR: Sure! T ightlooKnscaR: How about 4 dollars CaraCoop: 4 dollars? CaraCoop: hahahah CaraCoop: ok T ightlooKnscaR: Check T ightlooKnscaR: I'll check too CaraCoop: just a second T ightlooKnscaR: And no making up websites CaraCoop: ok CaraCoop: i won't have to CaraCoop: what's the chorus of that song do you know? T ightlooKnscaR: The song is called Hey Leonardo T ightlooKnscaR: BAHAHAHh T ightlooKnscaR: I WIN CARA! CaraCoop: you totally don't TightLooknScar wants to directly connect. T ightlooKnscaR: Accept connection TightLooknScar cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.). T ightlooKnscaR: http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/morrison/794/blessed.html T ightlooKnscaR: http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/morrison/794/blessed.html T ightlooKnscaR: http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/morrison/794/blessed.html CaraCoop: oh man T ightlooKnscaR: http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/morrison/794/blessed.html CaraCoop: i blew it T ightlooKnscaR: Oh man T ightlooKnscaR: I know CaraCoop: i was thinking of a completely different song CaraCoop: oh man CaraCoop: damnit! T ightlooKnscaR: I am so totally the greatest awesomest guy ever CaraCoop: whatev CaraCoop: WHATEV! T ightlooKnscaR: What am I going to do with all my moneys? T ightlooKnscaR: I think I might buy a houseboat CaraCoop: shut up CaraCoop: i hate you CaraCoop: forever CaraCoop: actually i don't CaraCoop: it was my own fault CaraCoop: i was thinking of a completely different song T ightlooKnscaR: you better put this on LJ T ightlooKnscaR: this convo ROCKS T ightlooKnscaR: RAWKS CaraCoop: i already put the first half CaraCoop: you can put the rest CaraCoop: you won the freakin bet T ightlooKnscaR: I did T ightlooKnscaR: muahahah Next stop: Houseboat! Downpayment on Lamb-Lambori-Lmaborgee-Ferrari! An Almost Super at Taco Del Mar. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
2:37 pm	My baby, she wrote me a letter... Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane Ain't got time to take a fast train Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home My baby, just-a wrote me a letter I don't care how much money I gotta spend Got to get back to baby again Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home My baby, just-a wrote me a letter Well, she wrote me a letter Said she couldn't live without me no more Listen mister, can't you see I got to get back To my baby once-a more Anyway, yeah! Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane Ain't got time to take a fast train Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home My baby, just-a wrote me a letter Well, she wrote me a letter Said she couldn't live without me no more Listen mister, can't you see I got to get back To my baby once-a more Anyway, yeah! Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane Ain't got time to take a fast train Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home My baby, just-a wrote me a letter My baby, just-a wrote me a letter Current Mood: I miss my girlfriend (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 27th, 2003
5:51 pm	I'm Lost.... Fuck the plan with Derek. I can't do what I just did again... I would in a moment, but it's going to destroy me. I need to get to UO as soon as possible. I am not good spending my days alone. It's bad for my mental health. I wish somebody was home, so I could give them a hug, and tell them that I want to get the fuck out of here. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 25th, 2003
11:54 pm	Take a look at this... http://topfive.com/arcs/pk091903.shtml (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
12:21 am	Kristina... My Angel of the Night, I pray that the morning finds you as well as possible. I know you're hurting inside, but every pain that you feel also echoes within me. If my arms can support you, please rest in them. If my words can uplift you, fly. And if my love can see you through the darkest times, then let us shine together. Dane Teachman, 2003 Ps. Yes, I wrote that. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 6th, 2003
1:35 pm	I didn't need a quiz to tell me this, but... I am ... VERY PIRATE according to the rebelsnail.net Pirate Assesment. How Pirate Are You? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
11:50 pm	I have a serious question for all of you... If your head was a cake... I mean, a REALLY GOOD CAKE... Ice cream cake that gave you orgasmic bliss with each bite... Would you eat it with risk of death? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 25th, 2003
10:52 pm	Even more of a pirate! Because Ay fly me Jolly Roger! (Comment on this)
10:35 pm	Still a Pee Eye Arr Ayy Tee Eee Poker rocks when you are drunk. So does "Drink, Bitch" And I am such a pirate I am thinking of growing a beard and putting braids and beads in it... And maybe a flower or two! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 18th, 2003
3:59 pm	No, I rule... Dane Jirzone is a Giant Moth that Stomps Around a Lot, kidnaps Blonde Women, moves at Great Speed, and has a mean Left Hook and a Long Neck. Strength: 2 Agility: 9 Intelligence: 6 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Dane Jirzone, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Dane Jirzone using Strength Agility Intelligence (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 27th, 2003
11:16 pm	So, I'm a Pirate... I took an 8oz shot of vodka from a "Pirate" Shotglass. I just thought everyone should know this. That will be all. -Dane "Belligerant and proud" Teachman. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 26th, 2003
2:55 am	I lack creativity 1. when and how did we meet: 2. have you ever seen me with my shirt off: 3. have you ever seen me cry: 4. describe me: 5. if we could spend a day together what would we do: 6. have we ever gotten in a fight: 7. if you could give me a present what would it be: 8. would you hug me: 9. what do you really think of me: 10. have we ever kissed: 11. has there ever been anything you wanted to tell me, but were scared to: 12. wanna makeout: 13. name Many things you dont like about me: (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 24th, 2003
11:41 pm	I am not being forced to do this. I am fine. Everything is fine. There isn't a gun to my head. I am posting this under my own will. So big party tomorrow! Yeah! I can't wait. I also can't wait for a few other things. Next Thursday. What about my car, you say? IT'S GETTING A BRAND NEW SOUND SYSTEM FOR MY CAR! MUAHAHAHAHAH! -Dane "What? I can't hear you over my LOUD ASS SUBWOOFER!!!!" Teachman. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
11:40 pm	I was sailing along, on a moonlit bay... I miss my girlfriend. My parents are anti-Dane right now, and they tried to restrict my time with Kristina... I'll kill them!(Not literally... Lyricly!) So tomorrow my mom leaves for ten days to SLC. Party time. Except for my 6'6 dad, he might hinder things... So I'll kill him!(kidding). -Dane "I swear I'm not psychopathic... Doctor..." Teachman Current Mood: Missing my girlfriend (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 13th, 2003
12:24 am	So so so... Both last night and tonight were cool, besides the fact that my parents didn't know where I was. Muahahah. Oh well, I was safe. I bought Jack Johnson's CD. You all should too, it's really good. Alright then, This is a short entry, but I've cooled off, and should probably alert everyone I have done so. -Dane "I like me, I remind me of myself at my age" Teachman- Current Mood: loved (2 Comments |Comment on this)